Day 50 - Happiness is - Jigsaw puzzles getting completed by magic! (Part2)

#100HappyDays/ Day 50 - Part2 (The Master Plot)

"Happiness is - Jigsaw puzzles getting completed by magic!"

Most of you would probably not know much about the 1983 ODI Cricket World Cup held in England. As kids, we had a lot of excitement in following the fairy tale progress of the Indian team through to the finals where we were faced with the most formidable opponents - West Indies.

If I was a betting man, I would not be considered a patriotic citizen, but then that reflects the odds of that game. And when we made a measly 182 runs batting first, I was ready to gamble all of India on WI recording a hat-trick of World Cup victories.... So much so that we actually had the TV shut down at home to avoid watching the depressing drubbing which we were about to be handed.

The relevance of the above story is that my preparations for Urvi's birthday had probably no better chance of success than India winning the World Cup. My army was assembled but I had no clue where to begin. Having bravely recruited my angels across different teams and continents, I was now on a one-way street .... Driving against the traffic... Anyone remembers the opening sequence of the latest Bond movie "Skyfall"?

But then you don't climb Mt Everest in a single leap. So I started breaking down the challenge into smaller chunks. My blueprint started off by laying down all pieces of the jigsaw puzzle on the floor and picking off one piece at a time:

"Charlie's Angels - Set 1" - their task was to confirm participation of their respective families for a meal and agree on a common location which would be convenient to all. It was left open ended in order to find the date and meal where we could get maximum participation. After silently watching a few exchanges of heavy-duty (just kidding) whatsapp negotiation, it was settled that the last possible meal of the Easter weekend and coincidentally Urvashi's Birthday was best suited to all families... i.e. Monday dinner (21st April).

For location, my preference was to get the family to a temple for prayers and then proceed to a restaurant. If that wouldn't work, we could all assemble at any mutually convenient restaurant for a meal.

Reasons for this were:

1) I genuinely wanted to have the family get together at a temple to seek the blessings of god on this happy day
2) This was the best chance to attract less suspicion and more acceptance from Urvi and I could potentially get more time before I had to talk about visiting a temple on her birthday.
3) An opportunity to thank (bribe!) god in person to make this plot successful)
4) Best chance to keep FIL (hope you are finally getting the acronyms right!) happy with last minute changes in his schedule - something that makes him uncomfortable.

Call it God's blessing for our audacious plot, providence or pure coincidence, elder SIL came up with a brilliant suggestion viz. meet up at Swaminarayan Temple at Neasden for prayers and have dinner in the adjoining restaurant which belongs to the temple trust. All seemed happy with the date/meal/location and the plot was beginning to take shape.

My lessons from this mini-success were that getting the right team together for a particular task and empowering them to contribute ideas as well as make the decisions is probably the most important element to achieve success. Imagine what fun it would have been if I had reached out to the two BIL's instead of the SIL's and elder Sister. Not only would the secret have been at risk of being blown....given that they wouldn't know where to begin without involving their respective spouses, but we probably wouldn't have succeeded in getting anything agreed or executed successfully.

By now I was feeling a bit upbeat and hopeful of still pulling off an unbelievable win. This felt just like the moment in time when we switched on the TV and saw the WI score stuttering at 66-6. Job well begun is job half done. Food and family fixed, I now turned my focus on creating a magical surprise for my dearest wife.... Something unique and audacious!

To be continued...................stay tuned for more thrills and spills as the plot careens from one turn to another twist at breakneck speed!!

Love n Light
God Bless

Day52 - Happiness is - "Being guided by my inner voice and affirmations"

#100HappyDays / Day52

Happiness is - "Being guided by my inner voice and affirmations"

There are two specific instances that I want to share in order to describe the moments of happiness for today.

The first one was a beautiful example of how my inner voice guided me. I have a daily Skype call with my parents around 5.00-5:30 pm in the evening. This time is more or less fixed and only deviates if there are conflicting schedules at either end.

Today I finished lunch around 2:30 pm and got this urge to do the Skype earlier. Upon making the call to dad, I found out that my Bhabhi's (sister-in-law) brother had  just popped in for 10 minutes along with his wife and both boys. Amol is a very dear friend and to see them all felt wonderful. While talking, my dad also announced that the lovely couple were in town to celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary and so that gave me an opportunity to wish them personally.

The second incident was actually an argument between me and Urvashi which threatened to spiral out of control. There were harsh words exchanged (mostly from my side) and in the past the battle of ego's would have continued until things became ugly. Both of us had valid viewpoints but that is what ego is all about - never backs off, never believes or accepts mistakes.

Here is when I remembered one of our self affirmations that we both have a habit now of saying to each other every morning - "I am slowly and steadily removing EGO from myself". That helped us to back off and walk away from the flashpoint to cool things off.

The argument ended and after a few minutes of quiet reflection, I realised my mistake and apologised for my harsh words which were certainly unwarranted and hurtful. In my right mind, I would never have been so rude to Urvashi given everything she means to me.

So I will now complete my atonement by publicly apologising to my sweetheart and also remember another affirmation that we have - "I choose to fill my words with love and joy"

These two examples led me to contemplate on the situations, my behaviour and also the lessons that I need to learn in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

I begin by comparing the natural way of living that I am used to (driven by my mind), vs. the option of following my inner intuition (guided by my voice of conscience). It is only when I observe carefully and notice the consistent trend of divergence of opinion between the two that I am able to understand the facts and differences

Mind:

1) Is aggressive and dominating - attempts to hog the entire time available and keep driving me from one thought to another incessantly
2) Is pre-occupied or programmed to jump from one topic to another and never to focus or concentrate on one topic for long
3) Wants to be entertained each moment - like a child wants to play video games or watch TV instead of studying
4) Does not distinguish between wrong or right i.e. Is happy to take the short cut in order to avoid working hard
5) EGO takes control in case of arguments or fights and tries to win the battle at all cost. Famous Author Dr. Wayne Dyer defines EGO as "Edging God Out"

Swami Vivekananda described the mind thus - "There was a monkey, restless by his own nature, as all monkeys are. As if that were not enough someone made him drink freely of wine, so that he became still more restless. Then a scorpion stung him. When a man is stung by a scorpion, he jumps about for a whole day; so the poor monkey found his condition worse than ever. To complete his misery a demon entered into him. What language can describe the uncontrollable restlessness of that monkey? The human mind is like that monkey"

Conscience or Inner Voice:

1) Is always soothing, soft spoken and gentle. Waits for an opportunity to speak and only gives guidance - does not force any decisions on me
2) Always guides me on the right path irrespective of the difficulty of the circumstances or consequences
3) Focusses on resolving disputes amicably and accepting my own faults and mistakes
4) Does not interfere or overrule my choices anytime. It always waits to be heard rather than imposing itself on my judgement

How often does that quiet inner voice get a chance to speak? When do I get a few precious moment when the mind-chatter quietens and my attention span stretches long enough in order to have a connection established with our inner voice. It happens randomly and without any conscious effort. Mostly, it is pure coincidence and it is completely natural for me to completely miss the distinction between my thoughts (from the mind) and the voice which comes from within heart. It appears as my mind presenting alternative options and more often than not the louder and aggressive voice wins.

On reflection, it comes out clearly that the CHOICE is always with me. Consequently the outcome or the path of my future depends on who I decide to listen to and how I choose to react to each situation.

The final question remains though - how do I make the right CHOICE, especially in situations of emotional turbulence given the accumulated stress of daily life which is interestingly also called a "Grind!"?

There are no magic bullets but it is a journey which can be undertaken by each and everyone of us. The one word that we must remember as a very important state of being comes from Bhagwad Gita - "Stithprajyna" which means "Equanimity" i.e. Keeping calm or retaining poise or balance in all circumstances. This is a simple practice of following the cycle of "Action....reflection....introspection....improvement" repeatedly till we get what we are looking for. In simple terms, override the EGO gradually and reach a balanced state of existence which leads to peace, joy, love and does not diminish any of our productivity towards achieving our worldly goals.

These two moments made for an intriguing but ultimately happy and learning day for me.

Day 50 - Happiness is - Jigsaw puzzles getting completed by magic! (Part1)

How do you celebrate a birthday of the most special person in your life? How do you make it memorable? How do you make each moment joyful? How do you plot and execute a number of surprises successfully when faced with the combined might of MI6, CIA, KGB and Chinese intelligence!? By this I refer to my dearest Urvi who is the scourge of surprises and possesses divine intelligence and ability to uncover/unravel/discover or just sniff them out even from the most secretive strategies or desperate attempts!

Tough situation but when you have an army of endearing family and friends on your side, even the most impossible tasks can be successfully accomplished.

One thing that is pretty clear to me though. No matter how much one plays with small bits and pieces of a jigsaw puzzle of life, certain games can only be completed with divine intervention. So dear God, a big thanks from my heart for making Urvi's birthday picture perfect... For putting together all pieces of the puzzle   such that, no matter which angle anyone looks from, the jigsaw would look complete  (except 1 missing piece)!

The lazy wretch that I am, I was running late as usual in planning a celebration of Urvi's birthday. Till last week I had no clue of what gift I would get for her or where and how her birthday party would be arranged. To top it all, this happened to be the Easter weekend and all our friends were out of town having their own mini-breaks. So I was left to my own devices to plot, plan, organise, synchronise and execute my surprise birthday party and surprise gift by myself - what fun! Or in other words lay down my weapons and surrender!

However, as they say:
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going..........................................home!"

So I decided to concoct my "Mission Impossible" (I hope you can already hear the music by now) by:

1) Enlisting the services of "Charlie's Angels" (some of you must be getting two sound tracks running in your head by now), viz. Urvi's two SILs (sister-in-laws) and her elder sister. Having sworn them to secrecy on a secret whatsapp group called "the fun people", I asked them to help organise a secret get together of the entire family (18 of us) - a cake walk!

2) Enlisting the services of "Charlie's Angels - Set 2", viz. 3 of Urvi's lovely nieces. Having sworn them to secrecy on a secret whatsapp group called "a Pal and Karia's", I asked them to help orchestrate a secret special surprise gift.

3) Enlisting the services of "Charlie's Angels - Set 3", viz. my brothers Rajiv n Vivek, cousin Rajni, Urvi's dear friend Thushari, my lovely niece Karnika. Technically only the ladies are angels and my two brothers would only qualify as cronies at best!

No awards for guessing who poor Charlie is in all the above sets - Although I felt more like one of the characters from "Tom & Jerry" (does anyone still remember this sound track) - again no awards for guessing which character!!, while the cat was on the prowl waiting for her birthday to be made a happy one!

To be fair, The lovely princess that Urvi is, she decided to leave me by myself to enjoy my misery of confusion and indecisiveness so that she would not add any more pressure on me. She also proclaimed that she "did not wish to go out anywhere on the day and her wish was for us to have a quiet evening in at home!" - to be really honest.. This probably was like the best music for my ears!.

In the interest of having a backup plan and getting some more time to hatch my own plans, I decided to play along with her on the lines of "Your wish is my command!"

So I had all the cast assembled. The date was fixed, the occasion was known, the clock was ticking louder by the minute. All we needed was a script containing all elements of a full over-the-top Desi entertainer covering the basic themes of Action, Drama, Emotions, Comedy, suspense and a few completely meaningless and unrelated sound-tracks. Of course to make this all work we stood no chance in hell and our only hope was for divine intervention and help from the weather gods!

To be continued...................

Love n Light
God Bless

Day 45 - Happiness is seeing your vision turn to reality

#100HappyDays/ Day45 - Part 2

Secret of Success: Robin Sharma

"An idea gives rise to a mental image. A mental image will then generate a mental habit out of which a mental trait ultimately blossoms. Master your thoughts and you master your mind; master your mind and you master your life; master your life and you master your destiny"

It has been a few days since I have written a blog and I still have a few unfinished articles that I have been mulling over for the past few days. However a piece of advice given by my dear friend Jack Maclachlan has been playing in my mind repeatedly and today, it combined perfectly with the above thought by Robin Sharma and our customary weekly visit to a garden centre to shop for compel me to put down my thoughts into words and write this post.

I will describe Jack's advice in a bit. Let me first begin with describing a recurring theme which has become something of a constant background thought process in my head. Life has a unique way of teaching lessons and repeating them relentlessly until the message or the lesson has been imbibed. And so over and over, as I look back at my life, I have had numerous occasions where I have had thoughts, ideas, dreams, worries, premonitions or even nightmares which have come true in true course of time. In simple terms, as described in the book "The Secret", we are all bound by the "Law of Attraction, which states that we create our own lives from within our own set of (conscious and sub-conscious thoughts and feelings.

Whether it is something good or bad, we create it from deep within our own self. In other words, our external world that we live in is actually a mirror reflection of our collective coherent and incoherent mind chatter. If my mind is in a state of chaos, I attract more chaos into the world surrounding me. On the other, when I am in a state of calm and centred balance, my external world is just the same. I keep getting back what I throw out into the world, just like a boomerang!

Our circle of influence extends however much we allow ourselves to disregard the artificial limits that we have allowed ourselves to shackle us with. We attract the number and type of friends that we probably believe that we deserve. Our fears return to haunt us repeatedly in the form of challenges or failures. Our dreams or ambitions test us and when we stand firm to pass these tests, we get showered with all the success and prosperity that we probably believe that we deserve.

In this audacious "Theatre of dreams", we are each an actor participating on this grand scale called "Life", playing the lead character that is ourself and enacting a script that we are writing from within our own intellect. We can choose to be a good character or a bad one, we can paint the background (our world around us) with bright, lovely spring colours or the heavy darkness of a moonless frosty winter night.  We can create scenes full of intense drama, riveting action, horrific terror, heart rending emotion or crackling comedy. It is all in our very own minds and hands to create the life of our fancy, fantasy or horror.

Our prophets, philosophers, great leaders, sporting legends etc. have all understood and echoed this simple truth and tried in various manners to convey the same to all of us. Christ even gave up his life by declaring each one of us to be the "child of god". All religions exhort us to make the most of our human life and realise our real purpose of being or existence.

But somewhere, somehow,along the way, while being gripped with the brilliant intense screenplay, we choose to hide or shy away from the fact by forgetting the basic truth that everything around us is simply "Maya" or simply an "Illusion"!!! We get serious about our character and start taking ourself seriously. That is when we cross over from an indestructible and immortal soul into a vulnerable and mortal person with a name, religion, gender, caste, age and relations!

I could sit here and keep typing away for a very very long time indeed if I needed to prove it with my real life examples or anecdotes to back up the authenticity or sheer force of this law. However I suspect that it is not required... That all of us have experienced this truth many times in our lives. It is a different matter if we accept it and believe in the law.

As stated so beautifully by my favourite author Richard Bach "The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while and watch your answers change"

Are we ready to look in the mirror and answer these questions honestly along with one more - "who are you"?

Before I wind down this article, let me share the advice from Jack. He told me about his friend who used his iron will and determination to create and adhere a routine in order to recover from a bad illness. The doctors had not given much hope for his friend to ever recover his ability to walk. Our guy was not about to believe the doctors - he would walk around his dining table a hundred times each day doggedly until he recovered his fitness to the point that he could challenge Jack to a rematch of squash.

Jack wanted to gently convey a message to me and all of us - "it is your choice to create your own future. Use your roadblocks and challenges as stepping stones and climb on the top to see your dreams come true!"

Who won the rematch? Any guesses? :-)

And finally what do the weekly visits to the garden centre have to do with any of this? Well.. Many months ago, Urvi and I dreamt of filling our lives with the colours and fragrances of flowers. We started off small and now we are seeing our vision turn to reality one little petal at a time! :-)

Love n Light
God Bless

Day 36 - Happiness is True Friends for life

#100HappyDays/ Each day of life...

The one word Facebook Friendship Challenge:

https://www.facebook.com/sanjay.pal.73744/posts/10152326671450619

Thank you so much for responding to this post request. This is indeed a wonderful exercise. To get my dear friends diving into their memory banks and fishing up the special memory of the first time or occasion when we met is a precious treat. It also took me back to those occasions and brought joy to my heart. I am grateful to have you in my life and thank you for being there for me through my good times as well as the tough ones in life.

Friends make up the glittering stars on a dark night. Their twinkles and glow bring love and joy to our hearts and souls. They also form the astrological chart of life viz. they determine our journey and destiny! We do not need to look at any other horoscope or crystal ball, just a list of our true and close friends is enough to show us what the story of our life has been and what lies ahead in our fate.

As quote on friendship sums up my feelings quite aptly - "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom"

- Marcel Proust

This exercise brought me so much happiness - to have so many wonderful and genuine friends means that I am blessed with so much love, care and trust. A lot of wonderful memories have been re-played in my mind and have gladdened my heart and soul.

Childhood carefree days, fun and pranks at school, teenage troubles that we got ourselves into, college crushes, first experience of stress in university exams, god sent friends who saved my life by dragging me out of my home and misery to help me scrape through my exams, wonderful teachers and angels who continue to guide me till this day, getting my first and only job till date, amazing colleagues, mentors and peers, finding my soulmate halfway across the world, meeting hundreds of friends at each point of life....the list of memories just keeps on expanding.

My friends have been an extension of my family - always there to cherish, create and share good times... But more importantly to protect, nurture and support me through all the difficulties and troubles.

I have always believed that I am a special soul - god's chosen child and hence blessed with the most loving and wonderful family and with the best friends that anyone could only just dream about. In my case, my dreams have come true and I have been living them each moment of my life.

Here's the luckiest guy in the world thanking his lucky stars (family and friends) and god for making his life so wonderful and special. He is star struck, his life is star studded and his mission is called Star Trek!

God Speed - May the force be with all of you always!

Day33 - Part 1 - The Happiness of Companionship

Manoj Khatri and I are "Soul Brothers". We have known this fact ever since our childhood days. We grew up learning, growing and sharing our philosophical wisdom with and from each other. 

We would spend nights talking about god, life, dharma, parallel universes and perspectives. 

We knew then as we know even now that a special bond joins us together across lifetimes and we have known and been connected in many different lives. We also know that such friendships are rare and special. We cherish this unique friendship that we share.

So why is this part of my happy day challenge today? Read the article written by Manoj on the link below. This was shared by him on Facebook yesterday. 

I started writing my blog on the same topic yesterday..still need to complete it .... Will be sharing the blog on fb as soon as I complete it. 

We both were completely unaware of the fact that we are again sharing the same path on the journey of our lives and again learning, sharing from and teaching each other.

If I ever had to choose a soul brother as my fellow traveller... The choice wouldn't be a difficult one... As you can see for yourself, we are destined to walk together on our journey of love, happiness and self discovery!

God bless Guddu (as I am privileged to be able to call him) with the same endless joy, love and care that he selflessly emanates from his soul to the entire world.

Day 32 - Happiness - a choice waiting for us to choose!

#100HappyDays/ Day32

Happiness - a choice waiting for us to choose!

We search despairingly for joy, success, peace, happiness and love in our lives and yet all of these are staring straight back at us in multiple shapes, forms and manners. We fail to recognise and be grateful for our blessings and yet are fully conscious of what is missing and yearn to complete those gaps.

On one hand, when we come across goodness and purity, it fills our hearts with glad tidings. Our senses let us experience the external world around us. When we go within, we experience the awakening of our own inner self.

Sometimes though, we need both in order to truly appreciate and comprehend our life and understand the real purpose of our existence. We need to combine the five senses along with inner realisation to witness the glory of god and his wonderful creations.

This is where time stops still... Words are inadequate...better still... Not required!

1) Mesmerising beauty lies all around us, not just in beautiful and colourful flowers. The gleaming smile and excited glee of a baby upon seeing her dad walk through the door can wipe out all the stress of a hard day at work.

2) Love surrounds us in the form of our dear ones, silent company of our soulmate, selfless blessings of parents, prayers of our brothers and sisters, naughty smiles and pranks of children, magical hugs of our dearest friends. Family, Friends, Relations of blood and then those of the soul, enrich our journey of life with their selfless care and love. All we need to do is to keep our heart open to receive this love and to reciprocate in order to experience the true joy of being connected.

3) Peace awaits us patiently in the lap of our dear ones or in the sacred sanctum of a religious place. Ever wonder why a church, temple, mosque or gurudwara or even our own little prayer corner at home seems so much more calmer and peaceful than anywhere else? It is the concentrated and collective faith and positive belief of the presence of god that creates these wonderful vibrations of peace.

4) Life teaches us the right path of living and gives ample opportunities for us to discover true happiness all around us, each moment of our lives - Each tree, blade of grass, leaf, ray of sunlight, dew drop in the early morning, grasshopper, tiny insect that carries the pollen from the flower to continue this dance of life and nature in full bloom. The first ray of dawn, the roar of sea waves crashing the beach on a full moon night, a letter from a dear one or just the lilting chirping of birds can bring cheer to us.

We now know that our inner self is equally responsible for our emotional wellbeing. It is the choices at we make and also those that we don't that ultimately take us on the path of our journey in this lifetime.

Joy or Happiness awaits imploringly for us to choose it... To reject negativity and avoid getting trapped in our own created web of sadness. To rise above the petty vices of selfishness and materialism, to dismiss envy and jealousy. A pure heart can never be kept sad for long, it will always rise above the dark clouds and discover the silver lining.

Here's wishing and praying that god gives us the strength and conviction to make the right choice always!

Amen!