I relate back to a recent conversation with a mother and teenage daughter who are very dear to me. In this instance, the child was protesting at being shouted upon and rebuked for a mistake. She agreed to being at fault but repeatedly insisted "instead of being harsh, you could have gently pointed out my fault and I would have understood".
The aggrieved mother had her own issues with the child being disobedient and reacting strongly. She related numerous instances of the child being careless and lazy in matters of studies and being very picky and choosy about food. I do know for a fact that they both share an incredible bond of true love and mutual trust.
In my observation, the pressures and stresses of life have actually hardened us all to a certain degree. We are often stressed out and under pressure, we end up taking out our frustrations on the easiest targets - our loved ones who often don't have a clue as to why they they are under attack all of a sudden. Young children, spouses, old parents and siblings fit the bill perfectly. In most cases, they put up with this injustice to a point and then they end up reacting in the same manner.
Children are the most precious gifts of God and he entrusts them to us to nurture and raise with pure love and utmost care. In return, children bring us all the joy and love that anyone could ever hope for. They fill our lives with treasures of crackling laughter, twinkling mischiefs, blissful hugs and soulful kisses. Their pure angelic souls reflect the presence of God amongst us. They show us what complete trust and true love we were all born with and are still capable of giving and receiving.
And then we happen to them!
From souls, they become names; from our good and bad virtues they become personalities; from society they get a religion, a caste, a status, a creed; from innocence they convert into egos; from being empty handed and naked at birth they get needs and desires and possessions.
Children are sensitive, delicate saplings that are planted in our lives. They absorb all their good and bad virtues by copying, reflecting and absorbing everything from the environment consisting of family, teachers, friends and society. It is us who are responsible for their successes, self confidence, attitude and behaviour. Conversely, they will equally absorb our egos, lies, frustrations, limitations, failures and fears. We mould them in our own reflections through genuine intent or by innocent, unintended behaviour, attitudes or actions.
So my checklist of items necessary to be imparted to children by way of self-practice consists of:
Values, Virtues, good manners, soft and sweet language, caring, compassion, consideration, sharing, respect, trust, pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, love, truthfulness, simplicity, peace, self realisation, spirit of service, godliness, lack of ego, treating everyone equally, sense of responsibility.......
Coming back to the little argument between our dear mother-daughter. It took me some time to patiently hear both sides of the argument from them and to replay the contrasting viewpoints to each of them gently and for them to resolve this disagreement. All it required was for both of them to calm down, express their own perspective and understand the perspective of the other.
The conversation ended with the mother spending many minutes proudly relating all the excellent virtues and numerous achievements of her daughter in studies, dancing, martial arts, roller skating, crafts, public speaking and sports. The young child was so happy to hear how proud her mother and promised to improve in her behaviour and eliminate the minor faults in her attitude.
It could have so easily escalated into a long drawn full-blown argument.
God bless them both and all parents and their lovely children.
The aggrieved mother had her own issues with the child being disobedient and reacting strongly. She related numerous instances of the child being careless and lazy in matters of studies and being very picky and choosy about food. I do know for a fact that they both share an incredible bond of true love and mutual trust.
In my observation, the pressures and stresses of life have actually hardened us all to a certain degree. We are often stressed out and under pressure, we end up taking out our frustrations on the easiest targets - our loved ones who often don't have a clue as to why they they are under attack all of a sudden. Young children, spouses, old parents and siblings fit the bill perfectly. In most cases, they put up with this injustice to a point and then they end up reacting in the same manner.
Children are the most precious gifts of God and he entrusts them to us to nurture and raise with pure love and utmost care. In return, children bring us all the joy and love that anyone could ever hope for. They fill our lives with treasures of crackling laughter, twinkling mischiefs, blissful hugs and soulful kisses. Their pure angelic souls reflect the presence of God amongst us. They show us what complete trust and true love we were all born with and are still capable of giving and receiving.
And then we happen to them!
From souls, they become names; from our good and bad virtues they become personalities; from society they get a religion, a caste, a status, a creed; from innocence they convert into egos; from being empty handed and naked at birth they get needs and desires and possessions.
Children are sensitive, delicate saplings that are planted in our lives. They absorb all their good and bad virtues by copying, reflecting and absorbing everything from the environment consisting of family, teachers, friends and society. It is us who are responsible for their successes, self confidence, attitude and behaviour. Conversely, they will equally absorb our egos, lies, frustrations, limitations, failures and fears. We mould them in our own reflections through genuine intent or by innocent, unintended behaviour, attitudes or actions.
So my checklist of items necessary to be imparted to children by way of self-practice consists of:
Values, Virtues, good manners, soft and sweet language, caring, compassion, consideration, sharing, respect, trust, pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, love, truthfulness, simplicity, peace, self realisation, spirit of service, godliness, lack of ego, treating everyone equally, sense of responsibility.......
Coming back to the little argument between our dear mother-daughter. It took me some time to patiently hear both sides of the argument from them and to replay the contrasting viewpoints to each of them gently and for them to resolve this disagreement. All it required was for both of them to calm down, express their own perspective and understand the perspective of the other.
The conversation ended with the mother spending many minutes proudly relating all the excellent virtues and numerous achievements of her daughter in studies, dancing, martial arts, roller skating, crafts, public speaking and sports. The young child was so happy to hear how proud her mother and promised to improve in her behaviour and eliminate the minor faults in her attitude.
It could have so easily escalated into a long drawn full-blown argument.
God bless them both and all parents and their lovely children.
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